Z: So you introduced your following partners to it [BDSM] who weren’t previously involved.
A: Yeah. I tried it briefly actually with a girl who I was dating not too long ago. The first time that we met I made it very clear that that’s what I was into. So I wasn’t just like, choking her from the get-go. I slowly went for her neck…
Z: And she welcomed that?
A: No, she pushed my hand away and was like, “no, no.”…She made it very clear that wasn’t going to fly.
. . .
A: We were having sex and I gave her a little spank on the ass. She stopped everything and was like, “that’s not okay.” I was like, “honestly, I don’t mean to be shallow, but I’m not enjoying sex with you.”
From the get-go, Alex had been very explicit in regards to his sexual preferences. *Reina has been aware from the very first day they met that Alex likes doing things roughly in bed, and that sex to him in all other respects is rather boring. So she shouldn’t have been surprised when Alex brought his hand to her neck the first time they had sex. But she was. She was not only surprised but also repulsed. The look on her face when he touched her that way–and he didn’t do so suddenly, he gave her very much warning and was gentle at first–is still one Alex struggles to shake from his mind, one that made the rest of that evening, for him, painstakingly vanilla.
. . .
She lets out a hardly audible moan, the only sound he’s ever heard her make in bed, and he takes it as cue to do something new–spank her. The inclination is impulsive, the quick wind-up in his wrist and flick of the palm practically instinctual, but she reacts as though it is the worst thing anyone has ever done to her. She jumps away from him on the mattress and rises to her knees before abandoning the bed entirely. “That is not okay!” Now she’s standing, pointing down at him like he’s a dog she’s training not to piss on the rug. He feels like shit, but doesn’t think that he should have to. “I don’t mean to be shallow, but I’m not enjoying sex with you.”
*Asterisk denotes name change.